Ashes

December 18, 2010

To ashes, and once more to dust

We consecrate you, here entrust

You to unending sea

And to eternity

Swallow hard.  Soldier on.  As we must.

Changes

July 8, 2010

Turns out I'm still not great at blogging everyday.

I could be.

But so far I've chosen to not be.

Meh, I still going to plan on doing it everyday,

and working towards that end,

but it's not nearly as important to me as exercising every day.

Also, you may notice I changed the look of my blog for the first time.

I did that because I realized that

though I originally really liked the look of it,

it no longer reflected who I'm becoming.

The original black scheme was about hiding and denial.

I strive now to be about light and truth.

I also replaced my black and white "head in my hands" picture of myself I had as my profile shot.

I did that also because it's no longer who I am anymore.

That was about being hopeless, and some "why me?" victimization,

and immaturely romanticized drama.

I strive now to be about success, self-accountability, and moderation.

Sibling Rivalry

December 31, 2010

I decided my kids could use a little time with their grandparents
over the holiday break
and I could use a little time in a house
that I wasn't responsible for cleaning.

It's a little like being in hotel
except the management also plays with the kids while I read.
Win-win, no?

Except that my plan was to stay for two nights
and then head home
and we're on night number four
and it's looking like it will be Sunday before we're able to head out
due to the insane weather in the midwest.

I read a quote somewhere that says
worrying is like rocking in a rocking chair,
you can do both all night and still never get anywhere.
This is something that I've tried very hard to keep in my mind over the years
and it really has helped me to manage stress differently,
yet I'm finding that it's much harder to push these worries aside
when the largest cause has her toes curled around my bottom rib

...I look forward to seeing what 2011 brings
as far as baby and family and jobs and everything else we have planned
and I hope to hear more about your year to come.

Goodbye 2010, we had a good run.

Piles

September 13, 2010

It’s A Wonderful Life

That, my friends, is the title of my all time favorite Christmas movie that stars Jimmy Stewart.

It’s been a Christmas tradition for me to try watching it each and every year at Christmas time...

Okay I know that it’s a little early for Christmas for most folks

but for me it’s Christmas everyday

LOL

Actually, this year I can draw a little comparison to ol’ George Bailey.

I’ve been facing some adversity

and to tell you the truth

the challenges have been literally piling on one after another,

after another...

We’ll try to do the right thing for everyone

but sometimes the right thing is not the best thing,

however, therein lies the challenge.

It’ll be a balancing act but hey what’s life

without a little challenge, right...

Technological Malfunction

January 5, 2010

Hello.....

it has been too long.

In fact

it has been ridiculously long.

My camera has been unable to download pictures for months now

and it has made me a bad blogger.

I am living in California now.

I get to help raise my niece and it is AMAZING!

It is my favorite part of my life right now.

The Break Up

August 23, 2009

That's what they say, anyway...
all good things must come to an end.
Does this always have to be true?

For those of you who have followed my blog for a while,
I'm sure you know about my partner, Andrew (thebuxstophere).
We'd been together for almost 7 years.
That good thing came to an end this week.
We'd been having our issues for a while,
but were taking steps to work on those.
(or so I thought)...

Unfortunately, issues that started out as minor
were allowed to go unresolved between us
and grew into larger problems
to the point where they just couldn't be fixed...

I've learned a lot from Andrew
and I know he has learned a lot from me.
Am I sad by our breakup?
Of course,
but I know the process of healing has to take place for both of us
and after we've had our recovery time,
I think we'll both look back at the past 7 years as a wonderful
and very valuable experience for us both
that neither of us will ever forget.

The one thing I am regretful of
is the fact that
due to circumstances
around the end of our relationship,
we will never be able to be friends
or even speak to each other again
for reasons we are both aware of...

Must all good things end?
No. ALL good things do not end.
Some do, but not all.
Things that end are always replaced
by the beginning of something else.
Sometimes it's just difficult
and takes a while to see it.

I'm baaack

December 13, 2010

Dipp'n my toes back in the blog world!